* t @ tty Bears . I N c *

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

^Like a rose^

To those in need of comfort ...
To those who have lost their way ...
To those with no hope for tomorrow ...

It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so easily,
But in my hands they die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in God for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to God for guidance
In each step of the way.
The path that lies before me,
Only my Lord knows.
I'll trust God to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 6:11 pm*|

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

^Ouch.^

In one dance practice, I have managed to achieve:

2 huge bruises - 1 knee cap each
2 huge lumps on my poor spine
1 abrasion on my right foot
2 horribly aching thighs

and many more poorly functioning body parts.

The stupid choreographer? Me.

What am I doing to myself??!! *urgh*

So now I look spasticated walking up and down steps. *haha* Walk past me and you'll hear "ouch. ouch ouch. oww..."

I can't imagine the rest of the dance man. I think I need to take old age into consideration when I continue my choreo ... sadded.
Labels: raffles hall

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 2:37 pm*|

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

^It's Valentine's^

Happy Valentine's Day my dearies ...

Although the origin of this love-ly day is debatable, the earliest recorded association of V-day with romantic love, according to my ever trusty Wikipedia, is:

"For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese [choose] his make [mate]."

~Parlement of Foules (1382)~ by English poet, Geoffrey Chaucer

I have had some interesting V-days in my life...I will always remember the $5 huge red rose with a funky smell. I wonder why... *heh* I also remember how we used to exchange gifts and 'lil notes in K.C. *geez* Those days feel so long ago when I was way younger man...*haha*

Well, I initially intended to catch the new movie P.S. I Love You starring the brilliant Hilary Swank on my own this evening. I mean, I really thought it'd be cool. I wondered if I would get stared at in the cinema. A lonesome girl watching a sappy love story on V-day. *heh*

Alas, Kenny made plans. Really sweet plans might I add. Although much has happened, I'm looking forward to it. He has put a lot of thought into it and I really do appreciate it. :) Thank you Mr. Wong for all you've done. A million Thank Yous will never suffice. Tomorrow, we'll toast to new beginnings and eternal happiness ya?

To all my darling bimbos and close ones, Happy Valentine's! From my personal notebook,

Appreciate the one close to you for you never know when you are going to lose them.
Kiss like there's no tomorrow. Share the passion.
Live each day together like it's your last.
Loving someone is wanting what's best for him.
Never part with hurting words for he/she might remember those words as their last.
Stop, hold hands and count the stars. Beauty's all around. Appreciate it.

Just because a person doesn't love you the way you want him to, doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all he has.

Always remember and never forget.

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 12:02 am*|

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

^Urgh!^

I HATE NUS BUS DRIVERS!!!

Okay, now that I have gotten that off my chest, I can write rationally.

Let's see, around 2 weeks ago, a bus B driver refused to stop for me even after I had flagged him down from a reasonable distance thus causing me to be extremely late for class. You see, I had already waited 20mins for the bus and here he comes along, ONLY TO DRIVE PAST ME!!!

Today, HE REFUSES TO LET ME OFF THE BUS!!! Okay.. it is probably not the same driver (can't tell since I didn't see the first time did I) but still!! I mean, I pressed the bell, I was trying to squeeze my way out, he closed the door so I pressed it again AND HE DROVE OFF!! Even the people in the bus were half laughing... grr...

So for the next stop, multiple people pressed the bell.. *haha* You see, I wasn't the first victim. Prior to my stop, he jam braked down the slope causing a few people to fly. But at least that dude managed to get off, albeit further down than expected. *haha*

You know what? I am sure if I started a petition on getting safer NUS internal shuttle bus drivers, I'll need to go online to save an entire forest. Goodness ... com'on NUS ... Keep campus safe man!

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 4:22 pm*|

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Monday, February 11, 2008

^Just a song^

You know how sometimes you're just staring out the window watching faceless shapes past you by when you hear the ending words of a song trailing off and realize how much the song that you weren't really listening was actually speaking to you? Well, I do. Just a few hours ago on my way back to school.

Interestingly, I used to say it to someone a long long time ago. Guess the world really is round.

Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.

~Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough~ by Patti Smith

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 3:16 am*|

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Saturday, February 09, 2008

^Irked.^

It's 4.38am and I'm frigging tired but I had to say this before I went to bed.

It's the Chinese New Year holidays in Singapore at the moment and it's the first time in 4 years I am actually back in hall so early. Well, I came back for a steamboat dinner with my Middle East trip peeps and after a long dinner, I looked forward to returning to my comfy room and shower (Abhi said I smelled like prawns). Unfortunately, I was greeted from afar with wifts of garbage smell. Or rather, the sour smell of the kitchenette multiplied ten folds.

Now, you must know this. I am not being nationalist in this post. See it from my point and you might understand. Do keep in mind that many residents have returned to their homes be it in Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia or Vietnam. However, there are some who do not return for their homelands are just too far away to justify the air ticket price. Now, it is these people who remain behind that are starting to piss me off (if it hadn't already started a few years back).

Firstly, is it so difficult to clear your Subway wrapper from the sink? I mean...com'on! Just that little piece of paper which you dropped in ended up preventing many others from using it. The idiot who used it without clearing the paper however, ought to be shot more.

Secondly, I never thought I would be able to smell the kitchenette/2nd floor rubbish from my corridor. I can't tell which one is the smell coming from as they both smell equally bad. I had the misfortune of having to use the kitchenette to clean my steamboat pot. I swear I nearly puked upon entering the kitchenette! Gawd knows who could have made it smell so sour man...and the rubbish piled high at the nearest dustbin...don't get me started.

Thank goodness the 3rd floor toilet still looks and smells decent man. People, don't you realise aunty takes a holiday during this period too? It amazes me to think I only left hall late on Tuesday and 3 days later, my block has deteriorated to this state. 3 days!!! And the amount of people left in hall is 1/3!! It's easy to do the math and use one's common sense to guess where (or rather whom) the mess is coming from.

Sigh ... disgusting.
Labels: raffles hall

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 4:38 am*|

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Friday, February 01, 2008

^Singapore Reflections^

Lately I've discovered joy in exploring various parts of Singapore. So far, I've conquered West Coast Park, Clementi Woods Park, MacRitchie Reservoir and Mount Faber Park. It's been very interesting discovering these lovely bits of my country. The most amazing part of these places, they're isolated. It's been really hard to find places here where you can just be alone with nature to reflect. When I was on top of that viewpoint in Cameron, I was just thinking Sg should have more of such places - cool weather, great view and NO MOSQUITOES! I have apparently discovered some of such amazing places. :)

The last few weeks have been rather...eventful to say the least. I have lots to think about and decide on. During these 'alone times', the weight on my shoulders that I carried gets to be put down, even if only for a few hours. Recently, I have been so so tired that for one period, I suddenly stopped feeling and become really numb. Thinking back, the feeling is rather scary.

So these times are for one to self-reflect on the meaning of life and what the future holds for one. Sounding so philosophical eh? :P But I am sure many would agree on the necessity of such periods where you do not have to act or hide who you are, not worry about getting criticized for your actions and not be answerable to anything or anyone.

For those who do, let me introduce some places in Singapore that I would personally recommend:

~very old picture of Clementi Woods Park~

~MacRitchie Reservoir~

~Lovely view of MacRitchie - my favourite~

~Paranomic view from Mount Faber~

~a lovely place to chill except for the many couples~

~the view @ West Coast Park~

I know the pictures above don't exactly do the places justice and I am too lazy to photoshop. Unfortunately, during my little exploration trips I did not exactly consider bringing a camera along. I mean, it wasn't really a priority ya know. *haha* So you peeps will guess hafta imagine the wonderful views, the calmness in the air and the breezes that lift your spirits...oh. and the silence that isolates you from the world. It's beautiful...

I'll definitely be conquering the rest of Singapore in time. I just have to find ways of using my 'kar' to get there. *haha* I can also then comment on the mosquito problem in various places at different times here. :P Some tips to remember:
Visit during late evenings or nights unless you intend to become roasted meat
Do not travel alone at night
Bring a blanket for your bum especially if you intend to stay for long
Bring sufficient cold wear when out till late
Bring some water as you never know how many steps/slope you'll have to climb
Bring your trusty handphone for music and emergency calls
Appreciate the sounds of nature, the cool winds, the stars and most importantly, the moon.
Till then, tour guide Penny out.

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 7:35 pm*|

^Thank You^

To my dearest friends,

Thank you so much for all your love and concern these past few days. I know my blog has turned rather emo and it kinda sucks to read my past few entries. I guess writing such posts will definitely garner some attention and I wasn't writing it for pity's sake. I was trying to be truthful to myself and writing's my way of expression.

To those who bothered to read, thank you. To those who offered care and concern, I love you guys.

To Fudge and Vik, you guys are unexpected supporters of this lost cause of me. Thank you for those simple words for though they may not be much, the meanings they carry go a long way.

To my dear girlfriends, your messages and calls are very dear to me. By your understanding and love, I have been comforted.

To Jon, thank you for just being there. For listening and being my confident, for being the only one to hear it all ...

Honestly, I've never felt so loved before. :) I mean...K told me before: "If you do not want people to disturb you, do not put sad nicks on your msn." Then I said that even though I'd done it in the past, people don't really message me. This time, I haven really changed my msn nicks that often but I guess my blog speaks more than enough. And the concerns I've received ... well, let's just say I'm getting stronger with them. :)

I never got the chance to say thank you to these people before so I guess it's high time I did. Don't worry my lovelies, I'm getting better. Hopefully, I'll soon put all these behind me and grow happier. Despite not knowing all my troubles, the very fact you all cared will mean the world to anyone.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 5:40 pm*|

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