* t @ tty Bears . I N c *

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

^Tickle me funny^

It is absolutely amazing the different types of personality you find in this world. Jootz was supplying me my usual late night entertainment and I thought I'd share some with you guys... I was seriously tickled to my bones! *haha*

"Ken Leeeeeeeee..."

~Bulgarian Idol's superb English~

~I lurve Paula Abdul~

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 5:48 pm*|

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Monday, March 24, 2008

^Life^

There has been much to update what with Raffles Hall DnD 0708 and DanceUncensored 0708 all within the same week. There are photos, videos and stories galore to share with you guys. But, I decided to take this post to remember Life instead, and how precious it is to us all...

Today, in the midst of lunch, I received a call from an old friend, Chris. He called to tell me of an ex-blockmate, Kyla...who has developed terminal cancer which we heard gives her no more than a few more days left. She requested to see all her old friends and we are planning to visit her tomorrow...

I am at a lost of what to bring ... I mean, what matters to one who will not be around to appreciate it? I have been thinking real hard but nothing seems to mean enough... *haiz*

To all who know Kyla, do take time to come with us ya?

It seems ... life is short. Kyla's story has got me thinking about mine ... I hope you do too. As my DU item's sypnosis said:

Kiss like there is no tomorrow. Share the passion.
Live each day together like it's your last.
Cherish your loved ones for you never know when you are going to lose them.

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 8:17 pm*|

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Friday, March 14, 2008

^Rest day^

Today I decided to rest. I spent the day reading finish Midnight Champagne by A.M. Ansay, watching Beauty and the Beast, my absolute favourite cartoon of all time, and lazing in bed. I finally managed to sleep a good 8 hours of sleep and am pretty contented. :)

I think it was about time I took this little break. People have been telling me I've gotten skinnier and pale. :S I think I look the same actually. *haha* However, I have been falling ill pretty easily these days. I took almost 3 weeks to recover from my Middle East cough in Jan then in Feb I fell ill with a fever all of a sudden which I suspect was cause of tummy problems and now, I am down with a very very bad sore throat/cough with random bouts of fever. *hmm*

So yeah...a break well-needed. :) And since I am a little more free today, let me do a little book review:

Midnight Champagne's not too bad though a little thin. Basically, the story's set at a wedding held in a chapel connected to a lodge. The entire story revolved around the bride and her troubles and a particular room - Suite 33. This suite is infamous for its bedroom activities ... On the wedding night however, a stranger wanders into the dinner, a stranger who has just murdered his wife in Suite 33. *hmm* I quite liked one snippet from the book though:

Nobody was ever really sure where love is concerned. There was always something more to learn, and that's why people fell in and out of love, sometimes with different people, sometimes with the same person over and over again. And each time it happened, it's like entering a different country. Things you thought you understood didn't make sense anymore. Sometimes it was wonderful, and sometimes it was terrible, but either way, you never could go back to what'd you been. Like dying? A little ... another kind of letting go.

Food for thought huh?

Now I've got P.S. I Love You, Summer in Tuscany & Five People You Meet in Heaven to look forward to. :D When's the next book fair?!

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 7:38 pm*|

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

^Yet again, I'm broken ...^

With a deep breath, I plunge forward. This blog has been rather sparse if not emotional of late. I have been pretty preoccupied, not only work wise but heart wise. I've been a basket of emotions and having constant random breakdowns. I've tried running and acting but it is time to admit what I've been hiding - problems that have existed for some time. The ennies are no more together.

It started out pretty simple...or so I thought. Initially, I thought hey, maybe I need some time away considering things were not fantastic before I left and I could do with some space to figure out if this was what I really wanted. I knew that if I stayed,it would have been for life and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that as I seemed to be having some doubts. Little did I know, he was thinking the opposite and was ready to change for me. Bad timing indeed...

When I returned, I tried to make things work, refusing to give up so soon. However,the more he sensed my doubts and hesitations, the worse it all became. Now, reading his deepest thoughts, I wonder where it all went wrong...

LH told me this would happen, that no good would come out of me handling things this way. K told me this was the right way as if I had done otherwise, it would have been uglier. Well, I wouldn't know considering I had already chose my path and can only stick with it. Yet, time and time again I catch myself thinking if this is really all that healthy and how I wished I could have protected him from all this pain.

There are many things I wish and pray for, yet I can't make them happen by my own actions. I feel so so guilty and selfish. I really had no idea how things turned out this way ... I think back everyday and wonder ... at first I thought I was doing it for us. But now, the only thing I seem to have done was hurt you more and more. *sigh*

I do not know if I can ever forgive myself or let myself love again. I am so afraid of hurting ... of breaking someone else. It is scary to have these strings in your hands and a big part of me is afraid to take new ones up. There is this light at the end ... the path is alot clearer now than 2 months ago. Am I ready to take baby steps forward?

Dear you, words to you have been said elsewhere. Just know, I will always love you.
Labels: ennies

|*t@tty snoozed off @ 4:03 am*|

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